The Spinster Chronicles

You put the light in my life

2012-02-14T21:21:00.000-05:00

This morning, when I got to work, I was joking with the girls at my office. I told them "Beware, I'm expecting numerous flower deliveries".

I'm usually ok with this side of the Spinster life. You get the freedom, but you don't get the flowers.

Except this Valentines Day, I did get flowers.

Thank you, Erin. You are the best sister anyone could ask for too!!

Lori Ann

All you need is Love

2012-02-13T19:41:00.000-05:00

Here it is...the long awaited, critically acclaimed, fairly bad ass

SPINSTERS GUIDE TO ROMANCE FOR ALL YOU SMUG MARRIEDS

In lieu of my traditional list format, I've decided to bring you this years guide in the form of my interpretation of quotes from the great romantics in history. We'll start with Byron.

Byron once said:

"Friendship may, and often does, grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship."

Byron and I have a lot in common. We both love(d) gay men and our own close family members. For him, a half sister, for me, my red headed hottie of a first cousin, Gregory Francis.

ANYWAY,

Consider the above quote and ask yourselves...Have you allowed your love to subside into friendship?

You and the spouse shouldn't be chatting companionably over cups of hot chocolate whilst watching American Idol. Trust me, if your love isn't stormy and passionate, you probably aren't really in love- shared history, children, and a lifetime of beautiful memories aside.

So put down that remote, cut off an ear, and mail it to your spouse ASAP! (but don't just put it in the mailbox, that's lazy. Actually mail it from the post office or something.)

Now, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

“Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose, Ishall but love thee better after death”

Some might say that this quote expresses a fervent wish to spend not only her life, but her eternity with her beloved husband.

Don't be naive.

Nothing is more beautifully tragic than mourning a lost love. After all, love is much easier when you don't have to put up with someone and their annoying habits. It seems to me that Elizabeth is warning her husband. She probably wanted to say something along the lines of "Violets are blue, blood is red, I'll remember you when you are dead"

Then she realized that it would be plagiary because that's already in the Babysitters Club book "Kristy's Mystery Admirer" and just went with the whole "I shall but love thee better after death" thing.

What we can take from this is really that love and fear go hand in hand. So give your spouse chocolates, but put arsenic in one, kind of a Russian roulette sort of thing. Maybe they'll eat it, maybe they won't. Either way, you'll laugh about it one day. (well, you definitely will..them..possibly not)

Lastly, and perhaps the most powerful..the immortal words of Meatloaf.

"I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that"

What couple hasn't warmed themselves by the fireside, listening to the smooth tones of this poetry set to music? I know I have a Meatloaf mix for when I invite ~~Gregory~~...umm..hot gay boys over.

This one kind of explains itself. You'll do anything for love, except THAT.

I'm sure we all know what THAT is, but in case you weren't sure, I've created a list for your edification.

I'll do anything for love but I won't do...

dishes

weed

marinate the Thanksgiving turkey we're taking to your mothers in beer

watch hockey, even if it's an American team

play Jenga

paper mache

twister at your office Christmas party

any Harry Potter role playing

a family photo in an orchard

go to Cleveland

pilates at the community center for seniors

a Sandra Bullock movie marathon

Obviously Meatloaf couldn't fit all of that into the song, although I hear there are some bootleg extended versions out there.

Anyway, I wish you all the very merriest of Valentines Days!!!

Lori Ann

The Greatest Love of All

2012-02-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

It's been a weird week. There's a lot I could say, but I won't. This blog has gotten too wordy and tepid for my taste. Which is why I will delight you will some thrilling pictures instead. Let's do this dance!

Thomas..my sweet little butter ball. I love Thomas and I proved it to him by feeding him tuna behind my dad's back.

I made this wreath for Eri. Doesn't it look awesome on her door??

I finally took the plunge and ate a veggie burger tonight. It wasn't bad. But I may have put just a touch too much ketchup on it, you think? It was; like almost everything else I've discovered since becoming vegetarian, a pleasant surprise.

So, I'll have to let these thrilling pictures tide you over until tomorrow's blog update. In which I promise not to talk about vegetarianism AT ALL. But I do promise to share my 'so what I'm not married, I'm still a therapist" advice for your love life this Valentines week!!

Lori Ann

La Vida Loca

2012-02-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

You guys, I have like 80 clients now.

I am seeing between 6-8 people a day.

This is my dream job. This is what I've worked years for.

But, oh my gosh, 8 hours of listening to people's problems and struggles and trauma...

It's too much sometimes.

In any given day I might work with a kid with ADHD, a woman who survived sexual assault, another woman going through a divorce, someone with AIDS, a teen with low self esteem, and so many more things.

And half of my sessions are in Spanish.

I want to cry with them. Sometimes I want to shake them and tell them that they're standing in the way of their own progress. They tell me about their abusive childhoods, their years of depression, the decisions that they regret. They tell me about their sexual problems, their anger towards their mothers, and say I am the first person who has ever listened.

But sometimes I just want to fall asleep and forget that this is my job. I want to never hear any one's problems again.

I guess until someone pays me to craft, take naps, and give my opinion, I'll have to stick with this therapist gig. If being sometimes overwhelmed by my job is my greatest problem, I guess I'm a lucky girl.

Lori Ann

J..J...Junior

2012-02-08T08:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, people..

We are in semi-crisis mode over here.

I; once again, rashly invited my brother to stay at my place for a few days.

I am therapist, right?

I counsel people every single day about improving their communication and building stronger families, etc.

It should be easy for me to have a good relationship with my brother.

But holy Hannah, I become 13 again around Junior.

He drives me crazy!! He makes so much noise and he's expensive to maintain, and he asks questions he already knows the answer to.

Most mornings at my apartment are very zen..I'm eating my oatmeal, planning my vegetarian menu for the day, putting on my makeup...

Today, the stove fan is going because Junior burnt something while cooking himself eggs and sausage and there is so much confusion. I tell you one thing, I haven't missed the smell of cooking meat over the last 6 weeks.

*Deep breath*

I'm leaving for work two hours early.

I can do this with a careful strategy of going to work early and staying late.

We've got 3 days to go...wish me luck!!

Lori

p.s.- Junior is a very nice guy in reality. This post addresses more that I'm kind of neurotic and enjoy living alone:)

To Elizabeth Mae, on the occasion of your 6th birthday.

2012-02-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

My very first niece is six today.

The baby girl we all prayed for after two rough and tumble boys.

Elly is all of my dreams wrapped into one explosive package.

She hula hoops like nobody's business.

She dances ballet in the front yard on cold, cloudless February days.

She rides her little pink scooter like she doesn't know what fear is.

She talks about wuggle pets and little Pepa pigs all the while planning world domination.

She wears her blue sparkly shoes everywhere.

Elly is always in motion. The dreams must race through her head at night because I can't imagine even sleep daring to slow her down.

She inspires me to be a better aunt and a better person.

Elly, I can't remember my life before you. I can't remember our family before you. There is no 'us' without you.

I love how magical you make my life and I hope you know how truly amazing you are. You (and your three crazy cohorts) are the very best part of me.

Love,

Aunt Lorey

p.s.- I stole these song lyrics from Tim McGraw. These birthday tributes have sunk to a new low:)

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go
Gonna tell you how much I love you
Though you think you already know
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born

You're beautiful baby from the outside in
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again
Go on, take on this whole world
But to me you know you'll always be, my little Elly

I am an idiot!

2012-02-03T20:09:00.001-05:00

Well, seems as good a time to blog as any. Seeing as I am currently trapped in the back parking lot of my office with a dead battery. I don't know why I don't keep up with my car maintenance. Maybe it's so I can drive my dad crazy and have little adventures like this one:)

On a positive note, I do have a whole box of tasty cakes so I probably won't starve:)

Wish me luck!

Lori Ann

*** I arrived home safely after a jump from a rather cute mechanic named Carlos***

Boring Life Updates

2012-02-02T07:17:00.001-05:00

I was outside yesterday, completing my assessments in the sunshine! More vitamin D, but significantly less professionalism:)

Dinner last night. Salmon again. This time I added fresh lemon juice and garlic and dill. It was really good.

I spent 2.77 cents on a ginger ale and two yogurts yesterday. Leaving my Frugal February remaining balance at

97.23

It's GROUNDHOGS DAY!! Look for my update tonight. We're having a ceremony/celebration at work!

Lori Ann

1 month, baby!!

2012-02-01T07:10:00.001-05:00

It's Groundhogs Day Eve.

A time for serious introspection and contemplation.

Or not!

Anyway, you may all wish to congratulate me, I have been a vegetarian for exactly 1 MONTH!!

Here are the top three things I have learned during this month:

1. Hamburgers can appear in your dreams. Sometimes they even dance and sing.

2. Fresh spinach is really good. I don't know why I've been eating iceberg lettuce all these years. From now on all my salad greens will be spinach or other darker colored options.

3. Doing this has weirdly been the best diet ever. Giving up meat has made me much more aware of what else I am eating, since I am always looking for protein. I've given up soda, most candy, and a lot of the junkie kind of meals I used to eat. (spagettios, french fries, etc)

In addition to my ongoing vegetarian quest, Erin and I are competing in Frugal February. We're both trying to keep our expenditures under 100 for the entire month. That includes gas, food, entertainment, etc. Whenever I post, I will leave a running tally of how much I have left!!

Thanks for being so supportive. Getting to blog about all my goals motivates me so much. And keep sending me recipes!! I love them!!

Lori Ann

This is why

2012-01-31T13:31:00.001-05:00

I don't bring my phone into work. I have like 100 self portraits and no work done!

Damn you, iPhone! Why must you be so entertaining??

Lori Ann

Just close your eyes

2012-01-30T20:19:00.000-05:00

My impromptu reading party and lunch.

This picture doesn't do it justice. It's beautiful.

Last time I went to the doctors I got some blood tests done and my doctor told me that I was deficient in Vitamin D.

So today, instead of my usual running of errands and running back to my apartment, I stopped at this fountain that is near where I shop, just outside of Wilmington, Delaware.

I ate my apple and yogurt and read a few chapters of Hunger Games. And soaked up some Vitamin D.

Lori Ann

Le poisson

2012-01-27T21:15:00.000-05:00

Tonight; for the very first time in 32 years, I ate salmon.

Salmon and a spinach and cheese salad.

I was surprised by how good it was. I'm kind of excited to try new salmon recipes.

I'm sorry this blog has been all about what I'm eating. Blogging has been helping me get through this first month of vegetarianism. Once February hits I'll be back to my stories about work and crafting!!

Lori Ann

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

2012-01-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight I decided to explore the whole 'eating vegetables' part of vegetarianism. I made this premixed stir fry.

I can proudly say that I ate about a third of the plate before my gag reflex would not let me have another bite. I'm going to have to figure out another format for vegetables because stir fry is not it. On a less depressing note, I did get about 8 serving of vegetables because I kept refilling my glass of V8 to wash the vegetables down:)

All hail Vegetarianism Day # 25!

Lori Ann

All about the Benjamins, baby!

2012-01-25T07:01:00.004-05:00

I have been feeling really inspired lately.

Maybe it's the meds. Who knows?

Anyway, my newest idea...

Spend only 100 dollars in the month of February!

That includes gas, food, etc. Anything that is not a bill.

Of course this means I will have to dial down my Ground Hogs Day and Leap Day party plans.

I'll keep you posted!

Lori Ann

Jackie Boy

2012-01-24T19:22:00.001-05:00

Thanks to my brother in law Jack for his amazing black bean burrito recipe. I didn't get to process the beans (because I was hungry), but I followed the rest of your steps and it was AMAZING. I think this vegetarian thing is going to work out ok.

Lori Ann

I need somewhere to begin

2012-01-24T07:48:00.002-05:00

This is the view outside my window this morning. It makes me want to write a Gothic novel. All we need to complete the day is for the night to be dark and stormy!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- It's ok to be jealous of my superior photographer skills. Believe it or not, I took this picture laying on my living room in my pajamas:)

Randomness

2012-01-23T20:35:00.000-05:00

There has been a lot going on in my life lately. Well, kind of.

In some ways it's the same old routine, but I feel different. So, that's good, right?

Anyway, here's your completely Random Lori Life update!!

I've gone vegetarian for 23 days now. I'm so proud of myself. It's had the desired effect. Making me think about what I am eating. Today I made myself this fancy semi healthy dinner!

It was shrimp bisque. Which actually isn't SUPER healthy, but I only ended up eating 3 bites, so that should count for something.

I finished my black bottomed cupcake though. It was a struggle, but I persevered.

After working for so many years in mental health I finally decided to hop on the bandwagon and get myself on some meds for my "I hate when people don't like me, I can't stand to be in trouble" anxiety. and Oh. My. Gosh. Why did I wait this long? You know that really good way you feel after getting an amazing nights sleep? Like NyQuil quality sleep? I feel that way EVERY DAY.

I've been decorating my apartment for Valentines Day. My friend Jennie made me this amazing wreath!

Yes. It says what you think it does. It's kind of a strange office joke. What can I say?
We're therapists.

I have altered my Ground Hogs Day goal after finding out the truth about Punxsutawny. Apparently it's not like the movie. It involves a 3 am bus ride into the woods and lots of drunkness. Not how I care to celebrate the groundhog. So instead, I've convinced my mom to dress up my dad's cat Thomas in a cape and bring him outside at sunrise. We'll see if he sees his shadow!

Well, I am off to finish my Valentines Craft project (featured above), take a bubble bath, and watch Season 2 of the Big Bang Theory!

Lori Ann

56

2012-01-20T07:47:00.002-05:00

I can't explain it, but this is my favorite picture of my mom.

My mom's birthday was three days ago. So, this blog tribute is a little late. In years past I have done lists of interesting facts about my mom or things like that. This year I wanted to do something different. So, here it goes..

Thank you, Mom for...

All the times you worked late nights and long hours to provide for us.

The matching dresses you made me, Erin, and Danielle.

Teaching me that I can do anything I set my mind to.

Letting us bake with you when we were little, even when we messed up the recipes so badly that dad wouldn't even eat the cookies.

Always telling me the story of how, when I was born, you said "I've got three girls!" and the doctor said he had three girls too. I love to hear that story.

The time you and Dad bought me the fall wreath and pumpkin spice candle. It made my new apartment feel like home.

All the times you took us to the ER to ask a nurse if we were ok.

Being one of the smartest people I have ever met.

Being the world's greatest grand mom. Those are the four greatest kids and I am so happy that they'll have wonderful memories of their childhood with you.

Always letting me live with you if I needed to. And not making me feel like I was a burden or a problem.

Teaching me to love the music of the Elvis, Cher, Lulu, and every single band from the 50's.

Sending me flowers when I passed my LCSW exam. And that one time on my mission. And when I was an intern at Hedwig House.

That one time when our car broke down at the doctors office in New Jersey. Do you remember? We spent like 2 hours fixing it ourselves in the dark??? I think about that night whenever I have to do something I'm not sure I can do. It helps me to be strong. .

I look forward to the years ahead and all the craziness. Shopping in Paris for Elly's prom gown. Watching Snapped marathons. Plotting Dad's demise. Trying to get Thomas to lose weight. Your luck of the Irish training. More under cooked turkeys. Bailing Katy out of juvenile detention. Hours of quality criqut time.

Thanks for everything, Mom. Enjoy the rest of your birthday week!

Love,

your baby

Lori Ann

I shouldn't blog before 9 am

2012-01-17T08:39:00.000-05:00

I guess it's kind of a Random Updates: Tuesday Morning Edition. With the emphasis on RANDOM.

I saw this sunset when I was driving home on Saturday night. This picture does not do it justice in any way. I love Pennsylvania sunsets. And yes, I should stop taking pictures while I'm driving.

Jack, Danielle, and I ended our emotional journey of Harry Potter by watching the second half of Deathly Hallows. Jack now has surround sound to go with their flat screen!! It was epic. Despite Danielle falling asleep in the middle and missing all of Jack and my interesting commentary on the differences between the movie and book :)

Despite recent unrest and rumors of mutiny, the secret club was able to meet. It was the best time of my life, as it always is with my muffin babies.

Elly has begun the transformation into her dream of being a cat.

Speaking of cats, this is my dad's cat, Thomas. My mom and I like to swaddle him. Dad says it makes him "schizo", but we know he likes it!

Speaking of my Mom, it's her birthday today! Happy Birthday, mother! Your blog tribute is in the works!!

Lori Ann

He's my brother

2012-01-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

Well,

I guess I always knew this day in my career as a therapist was coming.

I just didn't know it would happen this soon.

Yesterday, in one of my sessions, I called my brother to answer Star Wars trivia questions for me and my client.

Yep.

And the sad thing is that it's far from the first time I've involved my family in my practice. I call my dad for ideas on working with addicts, my mom for questions about health problems, my sisters for everything else, and now Junior...Junior is my go to source for Star Wars questions.

I guess I should pay him some kind of consultation fee, right?

Lori Ann

Cupcakes, son!

2012-01-10T20:41:00.001-05:00

Today I had a very existential experience. I was making cupcakes whilst watching Cupcake Wars.

It was surreal.

These are actually black bottomed cupcakes. It's regular chocolate cake mix, topped with a cream cheese mixture and chocolate chips. I don't think I did it exactly right. Oh well. It was fun to bake again.

10 days of vegetarianism down. I have been doing ok. The biggest thing that I have noticed is my hair. It's really dull and lifeless. I guess I need to up my protein. My diet of ginger ale, cupcakes, and frozen cheese pizza probably isn't getting the job done:)

Lori Ann

p.s.- On an unrelated side note, I went to Bath and Body Works Semi Annual Sale and got a wallflower ( scented plug in thing) that is called "Winter Cabin" and its making my apartment smell like cinnamon and happiness.

p.p.s.- My post title is what I would name my cupcake shop. But you've got to say it all edgy and street smart, like "Cupcakes, son!" You could add a "You better recognize" after that, if you wanted.

Oh how I forgot what's its like

2012-01-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

So...

I have been officially vegetarian for 8 days now.

And off facebook for 7.

It feels strange. Good strange, I think.

I spent twenty minutes today watching the sunset from my sunroom window. I feel like everything isn't such a rush anymore.

I guess what I mean is that eating better and getting off facebook has given me more clarity of thought.

So, week one down. 51 more to go!

Being off facebook has reignited my love affair with youtube. This was making me laugh all week! Jimmy Kimmel is the BEST.

Lori Ann

I told you so

2012-01-04T22:22:00.000-05:00

All the ingredients you need for the BEST. DINNER. EVER.

First step: Add the butter

Next Step: Add the Mayo

Third Step: Parmesan Cheese, baby!

Last Step: Hot sauce!!!

Finally...Enjoy. This is what I would request if it were my last meal on Death Row. Well, this and a variety of things cooked by my dad.

It just got real in here.

Lori Ann

Love me do, I think it was

2012-01-03T23:05:00.000-05:00

"The key to change...is to let go of fear."

Rosanne Cash

This is so going to be my motto for 2012.

Lori Ann

p.s.- 3 days of vegetarianism down. 363 to go. (It's a leap year)

p.p.s.- In the spirit of letting go of fear, I have stopped trying to photoshop artsy pics of myself and put a pic of me that is representative of what I look like every day in my blog header. Disheveled hair, bent glasses, round face, one eye bigger than the other. Yep, that's me. I'm going to make it a point to put awkward and unflattering pics on here. Oh yeah..this is just the beginning!

Just close your eyes

2012-01-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

Obviously I am changing the format of my blog...AGAIN. So, for the next few days I will be messing around with it. Ignore the picture of me that looks like my face is melting. Photoshop is the devil!

Also, all of the blogs I read have disappeared, but fear not. I will find you and return you to my sidebar!

Also ,beware..I got the instagram app and I plan to be instagramming all my photos. This one is the last night with my beautiful Christmas tree. *sigh*

Now on to the Valentines Day decorations!!!

Lori Ann

So live your life

2012-01-02T17:54:00.001-05:00

I think I write about my New Years Resolutions every January.

I like to make plans, so New Years goals suit me really well.

This year; instead of my usual 3 million goals, I have only a few. But they are kind of intense.

Without further ado..my Goals/Resolutions for 2012

1. Go vegetarian for all of 2012. This one has been on my Bucket List for 10 years. It's not really about animal rights for me (although I do believe animals deserve better treatment). It's more about being conscience of what I am eating and sacrificing. Today is day two. Only 363 more day to go!

2. Get off Facebook for 2012. I deactivated my account a few hours ago. I could never completely erase it. It's the only form of contact I have with some important people. Mission companions, cousins I never see, etc. I'll be back in 2013. It's just...facebook; for me, is too much like pretending to live. This year, I want to live. Like Walden Pond live.

3. Go to Therapy. The longer I am a therapist the more wrong it feels that I have never been to therapy. I need to learn more empathy for my clients and maybe work on my anxiety or something.

4. Write my book. Even if it's never published, read by anyone but my family (oh yeah..don't try to get out of that, family. I'll be printing you all copies), I want to write. It's just something I need to do.

5. Volunteer. I haven't been very charitable for a while. I have been blessed in so many ways and I need to do good for others.

And Last But Most Important...

EMBRACE THE AWKWARDNESS.

I want to live the rest of my life so that; when I am 80, and I look back, I won't regret too much. So, I want to do things that are hard, or awkward, or daring. Like talking to people in elevators. And going hiking. And being more real, even on this blog. More honest.

I don't know. I guess what I really mean is that I want to LIVE MY LIFE, you know?

Lori Ann

That glorious song of old

2011-12-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

Here are my Christmas Highlights. It just got real in here, yo.

The English dinner at Jack and Danielle's. Jack made Beef Wellington and Yorkshire Pudding. And treacle tart. I normally avoid pie like creations like the plague, but my loyalty to all things Harry Potter forced me to try it. It was actually really good:)

Christmas at Milford Branch. I always forget how much I love singing Christmas Hymns.

The amazing gift from my parents. (I don't have pictures for some reason)

An incredible Christmas dinner and quality time with 'crazy Danielle'. I LOVE crazy Danielle.

24 hours with the 4 craziest kids on Earth. We made more than one anniversary cake. We barked like puppies in the Walmart parking lot. We laid on the grass and looked up at the stars. It was...amazing.

Watching another hour of 'Jane Eyre' with my brother. We have made it through 2 of 4 hours. I had to explain AGAIN what a governess does. At which point he said " I am watching Jane Eyre, but I don't have to understand it". Oh Junior.

An untold number of hours at my parents; watching low quality TV, wrapped up in a blanket, drinking hot chocolate and feeling completely at peace.

Lori Ann

Bells will be ringing

2011-12-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

It's almost time for me to go home for Christmas!

Of course, I was home last weekend, so it's not exactly a call to roll out the red carpet:)

My dad's making steak and shrimp on Christmas day, we are opening presents after church and probably spending a fairly crazy day with the kids. Everyone will be home.

Only one thing will be missing.

Erin.

Christmas isn't anywhere near the same without Eri.

She listens to me, does projects with Danielle, and always makes plans with Junior.

She brings light and happiness to our home.

Spending one day with Erin gives me the feeling of having taken a two week vacation.

She is Christmas magic.

I wish you could be home, Eri.

Merry Christmas.

Lor

5 Things

2011-12-21T21:41:00.001-05:00

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I've lived in 8 different states. Pennsylvania the longest, Colorado the shortest.

2. I'm really good at memorizing things. But only if theyare obscure and pointless. Like movie dialogue and weird facts.

3. I can always predict that it's going to rain, but notwith any degree of certainty as to exactly when. So, yeah..not so useful.

4. I truly believe that there is an episode of Seinfeldabout every life situation.

5. I am completely honest when I say that I would love tomarry a gay man:)

5 Things I'm Knowledgeable About

1. Axis 1 mental health diagnoses

2. Harry Potter.

3. The PhiladelphiaEagles and football in general.

4. Historical Romancenovels and their Authors. My favorite is Lisa Kleypas.

5. The Poems of EmilyDickinson. I've read every single one. Two words: Nature, Death.

5 Things I Know Nothing About

1. Oliver Cromwell. Iguess he's important but I can't ever remember for what.

2. Stocks and WallStreet. My dad tries to explain it to me, but I'm like "wait..so, can I gobuy a stock? And then they send it to me? How does it work again?"

3. Fashion. I likeit, but I don't understand it. And 7 seasons of Project Runway have brought meno closer.

4. Mechanics. I don'tknow a transmission from a tire iron.

5. Entertaining. Iwant to entertain but I can't figure out how to do it. Finger foods or a meal?What will people talk about? What time should the party be?? AHHHH!!!

5 Things I Believe

1. I believe thateveryone would benefit from therapy.

2. I believe thatblond haired and blue eyed babies are the cutest.

3. I believe thatwhen you become a pet owner it creates a bit of a social disconnect. Kind oflike having kids. No, I don't want to hear about your puppy again, thanks.

4. I believe sostrongly that everyone should read the Harry Potter books. It's one of mystrongest held beliefs.

5. I believe that God loves you where you are.

Lori Ann

Streams of mercy, never ceasing

2011-12-19T18:19:00.000-05:00

My weekend in pictures

My uncle got my parents cats some catnip for Christmas. Thomas (aka "Lord Tubbington" and "the fat one") stood at the bottom of the stairs for I-kid-you-not FIVE minutes, staring blankly. Merry Christmas, indeed.

I got to complete my goal of doing something crazy and Christmassy with the kids. We made hot chocolate and peanut butter cookies with Hershey kisses. And according to some we made a "mess". Whatever. We let our haters be our motivators!

My sister Erin sent our nieces Christmas dresses. I don't think my nieces really needed any further confirmation of their princesses status, but if they did, these dresses gave it to them. They LOVED them and twirled and twirled. They looked like Christmas angels.

I watched A Christmas Story with my parents and Junior. It never ceases to make me laugh.

Thanks to a certain blogger friend,(you know how you are), my Post Secret app addiction continues. This secret (if you can call it that) was my favorite today.

I've been making Christmas trees. The one white is a bit avante-garde, eh?

It's Christmas Week, people!! I hope you have the MERRIEST week ever!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- On a strangely serious note- I can't express how much joy it brings me to spend the holidays with my family. I feel closer to God when I am with them and I hope they know how much I appreciate their love and support.

Tell Lori that I love her

2011-12-17T21:27:00.000-05:00

I've told the story of my name countless times. How my parents didn't decide until I was born, and how they choose my name from a soap opera.

Today, for some reason, I was filled with an inexplicable curiosity about exactly WHO I was named after.

I can't say for 100% sure, but the girl in the big picture on this Soap Opera Digest, she played a character named Lori Brooks, on the Young and the Restless in 1979.

So...there she is. The girl I was named after.

Now..back to making these!! These are the most fun Christmas crafts I have made in years!!

Lori Ann

And so this is Christmas

2011-12-16T20:59:00.004-05:00

I haven't gotten very much accomplished on my Christmas "to do" list.

Work and life have just taken over, I guess.

But that changes as of tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am throwing myself full tilt into the Christmas season and having a magical week before Christmas.

Feliz Navidad, people!!

Lori Ann

Truly Random

2011-12-15T23:33:00.001-05:00

I don't dedicate enough blog posts to my various injuries.

I am slightly prone to cuts, burns, etc. My dad would say it's because I don't pay attention to what I am doing.

This is my latest injury. Pretty sweet, eh?

Anyway, back to reporting on the Christmas magic tomorrow!!

Lori Ann

Beautiful and Strange

2011-12-12T23:25:00.003-05:00

I just got back from my weekend at home. Here's what went down...

1. I heard the two most epic talks in LDS church history. For reals.

2. And by "epic" I mean the following things were mentioned: infant sacrifice, the zombying effects of Ritalin, what kind of snow tires to get if you move to Vermont, the importance of trading your pain pill buzz for some excellent Motrin, and how pride is easily swapped for charity.

3. My baby James got baptized! It only took 2 dunkings:) It was not your run of the mill baptism, which was perfect, because James isn't your run of the mill kid. I can't believe he's 8!

4. I attempted my long dreamed of armoir tent at my sisters house. It was unsuccessful. But me, Junior, and 3 of the 4 Monrobie babies still watched Return of the Jedi on blu-ray:)

5. I watched the new fear factor at my parents. My dad always tells me that 'this crap is rotting your brain'. As if watching people eat live scorpions could be anything less than educational:)

It just got real in here. Oh Snap.

Lori Ann

But right from the start

2011-12-10T18:33:00.004-05:00

My less blogged about niece and nephew (Erin's babies): Pumpkin and Buster

It's my sister Erin's birthday today!!!

You faithful readers of my blog know what that means..it's blog tribute time!!

Erin is a rescuer.

If she were a Harry Potter character, she would be a Healer.

She saves left behind animals and befriends left behind people.

She brings the fun to our family. When she is home, everything is better.

She is so funny. No one makes me laugh like my sisters.

She is strong and smart and beautiful. And I don't know how I got so lucky as to have her for my sister.

Happy Birthday, Eri.

I hope you have an amazing year.

Lor

I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas Tree

2011-12-08T23:41:00.003-05:00

In the interest of full disclosure, and because I know y'all find the minutiae of my daily life unbearably interesting, I present to you...

My annual (well, two years in a row now, anyway)

Christmas To Do List!!

Let's do this thing!

1. See a choir concert

2. Bake cookies for someone

3. Have a fancy dinner, just me!

4. Do something crazy and Christmassy with the kids

5. Watch "A Christmas Story" with my family

6. Drink hot chocolate and watch Love Actually

7. Make a homemade snow globe

8. Complete at least one act of selfless service and do not tell anyone

9. Go the Office Party

10. Possibly host a Festivus Party..if people can make it.

11. Send out Christmas Cards! (I'm going to do it this year, I swear!)

Wish me luck, gente!!

Lori Ann

It was his true medium; a master.

2011-12-07T19:48:00.002-05:00

I came home from work yesterday to see my apartment looking like this.

It brought tears to my eyes.

I knew my dad was dropping off the couch I bought and a tree (which was already an over 100 mile round trip for him), but he put the lights on the tree and my windows and the star on the top, which I can never reach.

It was pure Christmas magic walking through that door.

My sister and brother in law lent him their SUV so he could haul all of it up without me having to rent a trunk or anything.

And then; when I got sick last night, my sister Erin stayed up late talking to me, making sure that I was ok.

My family is amazing.

I don't say thank you enough to them.

Thank You.

the family baby,

Lori Ann Peanut Butter- Jelly

Let's talk about you and me

2011-12-01T09:27:00.004-05:00

Ok,

So, I know that you are all burning up with curiousity to hear more about my job. It's kind of glamorous, yo.

I listen to people. That's my job.

I love it. I really do. But some days, 6-8 hours of LISTENING can make you feel a little crazy. But, luckily for me, my day is usually broken up with one or two diagnostic assessments.

It's where I assess people and diagnose them. Yep. I've given out every diagnosis from PTSD to kleptomania.

Anyway, the reason I just took five minutes of your life to get to mentioning these assessments is because they have been making me laugh so hard lately. Or actually one section has been making me laugh- the cultural questions.

In the South, our assessments didn't ask any cultural questions. That's not how we roll in the South.

Yankees do things a little bit different.

Here the assessments ask people to identify how they define their gender (male, female, transgender, other), how they define their race/ethnicity, how they define their sexuality (heterosexual, gay/lesbian, bi, other), and how they define their religious view (Christian, Jewish, etc, etc-its got like 12 things listed)

In all the assessments I have done (probably 50+) NO ONE can answer these questions like an adult. Everyone reverts to their 13 year old self. At least for the sexuality question. I have gotten the following responses when I asked "How do you define your sexuality?"

Normal

What do you think?

Strictly dickly

I'm going to give you one guess.

The one where I like boys

and a lot of people just laugh.

Anyway, it's sad the things that keep me entertained at work.

Lori Ann

Rockabye sweet baby James

2011-11-28T18:45:00.003-05:00

“One day we were brought into the world, knowing love only as being what we had for our toys, family, and friends. Then, you meet someone who alters your conception of love, and you never know how you loved anything before this kind of love.”

I love all of my nieces and nephews SO much I can never adequately express it in words. But my James will always have a special place in my heart. He makes me laugh, he runs from my kisses, he is so smart and so crazy and everything wonderful there is in this world.

And today he is 8.

Happy birthday to my beautiful Turkey baby!!

Love,

Aunt Lori

I didn't need that tab key anyway...

2011-11-27T22:08:00.004-05:00

What do you get when you add one 3 1/2 year old niece...

..to about two hours of unsupervised time with your iPhone??

You get one $150 dollar Hot Air Balloon ride purchased (unbeknownst to you until you check your account balance) on your Groupon app.

Oh, Katy Monroe... you are, as they say in spanish, "bien traviosa". I'm adding this one to the tally, girlfriend!

Love,

Aunt Lolee

The Addictive Properties of Crafting

2011-11-23T21:03:00.004-05:00

Have you ever been peer pressured into doing something??

Drugs?

Alcohol?

Sex?

Or perhaps, much like my coworkers today, you have been pressured into crafts.

Yep. Today I pushed no less than 4 people into making m and m turkeys with me. As in "Oh, I see that you are working there, go ahead and put down the phone because I brought m and m's and pipe cleaners and you need to prioritize".

If only the druggies in high school had me working for them- people would have been getting high and decorating their book covers with glitter at the same time! A win-win. I bet they feel pretty stupid right now for never involving me in their misadventures, eh?

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

Lori Ann

With birds I share this lonely view

2011-11-21T20:58:00.004-05:00

I guess no Thanksgiving week would be complete without a list of things for which I am grateful. I am going to try and veer off of the "my family and health" path, with the understanding that I am EXTREMELY grateful for all of those things.

1. I am grateful for my job. The other day I was dreading going in to work and I smacked myself upside the head and reminded myself "Lor..all you have to do is listen to people..that's your job. It's not like you've got to go and get carts in the scorching heat, cater to ungrateful customers, or give 6 people showers." (all previous jobs of mine!)

2. I am grateful for my view. I finally get why people are so obsessed with views when buying a house. I lived in a shady apartment with an equally shady view of the parking lot for 3 years. Which is why I never lifted the blinds. Now I have beautiful views and it makes me happier than I could have imagined.

3. I am grateful for my upbringing. I feel like it was God's plan for me to grow up the way I did. It helped me develop empathy and understanding, which is essential for me in life and my career.

There is a lot more I could say. I am grateful its the holidays again. It's good for me to have a time to remember to give thanks and to have fun with my family. I miss my nieces and nephews especially. More than anything, I am grateful for them.

Lori Ann

Breaking Dawn: The Much Anticipated 3:20 AM review

2011-11-18T03:19:00.003-05:00

I saw Breaking Dawn tonight.

And somewhere between the laughable wolf conversations, Jacob taking off his shirt literally 1 minute into the film, Bella's strange wedding dress choice, Rosalie stepping up to the plate, a vision of the future Renesme, and Emmett and Charlie giving the BEST WEDDING TOASTS EVER and a million other little things- I kind of fell in love with this one.

I think it's my favorite so far.

Go see it, gremlins!!

Lori Ann Lautnor

(It just sounds right, right?)

I want to take him down to China Town

2011-11-16T21:38:00.003-05:00

I saw this quote on my friend's awesome blog today. Amazing. I'm going to get a print and hang it in my office.

Lori Ann

p.s. Am I the only one watching "New Girl" ? I love it!!

" And the wiggly one and the bear attack and the claws and the head and the one that figure skater do and the what's for lunch and the give me that hat."

You and I have a history

2011-11-15T23:12:00.004-05:00

I've said it many times.. I hate when people put videos on their blog. I'm always like "huh..now I've got to watch some lame video". That being said, I feel strongly enough about this video to post it on my blog.

Because it's got the best possible combination of my two favorite things.

Glee and Adele

You won't regret the 3 minute investment of your time!

Lori Ann

any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored

2011-11-14T23:54:00.003-05:00

the kids. Not relevant to this post, but I can't post without a picture:)

Over the last two days I have done almost nothing.

With the exception of about 2 hours of shopping (including travel time) and about 15 minutes of cleaning, I've spent the last 48 hours vegging out.

Watching Harry Potter. Taking bubble baths. Making grilled cheese. Trying to find an amazing and practically free couch on craigslist. Mixing ginger ale and cranberry juice. Playing trash talking scrabble on facebook with my same-age-as-me sister.

Probably sounds fairly similar to all of y'all's days off.

Back to the grind tomorrow...but good news...

Only a week and two days until I'm off for a nice 5 day Thanksgiving break!!

Lori Ann

My day in pictures

2011-11-10T20:31:00.004-05:00

8 am- left my apartment and disappeared into the fog. All that was missing was the icy hand of a murdered child creeping up behind me.

8:15- off to the BEST STORE IN THE UNIVERSE. The Christmas Tree shop. Holy Hannah- it's intense how exciting this shopping experience is.

9 am- got home and realized that my new tea lite centerpiece is in the shape of a pentagram. Interesting.

11 am-7:40 pm- Providing therapy and eating these wild cherry cough drops. (which I got at the Christmas Tree Shop!) Best. Medicine. Ever.

Also, I spent a good portion of time staring out the window. Can't leave that out.

And last, but not least, my FANCY dinner. A new table and a new centerpiece called for an epic meal. I had chicken and potatoes (because that's what I make every night) but it was on my fancy plates, and I made a salad and cheese danish for dessert!

Now..all that remains is a bubble bath, hot chocolate, and watching Twilight in bed. Have to get psyched for Breaking Dawn:)

Lori Ann

Cheap is the new black

2011-11-09T20:10:00.003-05:00

BEFORE

30 minutes of rolling the table through the dark parking lot with a number of cars slowing down to stare at me and an awkward trek into the building, up the elevator, and through the door:

AFTER!

I owe it all to my mother for teaching me the art of the Dumpster Dive.

Thanks, Ma.

Lori Ann

To dive or not to dive??

2011-11-08T20:52:00.005-05:00

Ok,

Right now I am in the middle of a quandary.

There is this fairly nice kitchen table that someone threw out at my complex.

I don't have a table.

So... is it worth rolling the table about 4 buildings over?

(it won't fit in my car, I already tried that)

And; on a completely unrelated side note, if you put a table on top of your car without bungee cords, will it stay on??

Lori Ann

I had the best day with you

2011-11-07T15:58:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a perfect day.

Honestly, it was the best day I've had in a long time. It wasn't very out of the ordinary. I decided to drive home for the day. I made my parents a fancy lunch. (croissants are fancy for us!) We just talked about our lives and it made me so happy.

I went driving through the PA countryside and it was beautiful and I felt surrounded by American history. Then later I drove through the back roads with my mom and brother and my mom was pretending to be our tour guide and it was making me laugh and I felt so happy.

Then I got to make one of the few dinners that I make well (ham and potato soup) for all of my favorite people (just missing Erin and Big J). And Elly wore the Darth Vador costume I found half off at CVS. And I don't know why but it made me so happy.

Right now, in this moment, there isn't anything I would change about my life. I am very blessed.

Lori Ann

Random Thoughts: The Friday Night Edition

2011-11-04T20:23:00.003-04:00

I have a raging internal debate about when to decorate for Christmas..now or after Thanksgiving? If they just made Thanksgiving decorations (classy ones..not trashy hand made turkeys!) then we wouldn’t need to have this discussion with ourselves every year.

There have been some surprising elements to my new job. The one that freaks me out the most is people asking me to assess them for court. Like, they need to look crazy for a judge. Let the ethical dilemmas abound!

I still don’t have a sofa. Or a table. Or a TV. I’m living in my apartment like a squatter. Only squatters probably have more furniture than me.

It’s so beautiful here right now. I’ve kinda stopped taking pictures though because pictures can’t capture the amazing feeling of fall in PA.

I’ve almost been at my job for 3 months. You know what that means! Benefits, baby. Which means I will be able to sign up for therapy. I can’t wait. I am doing it solely to steal other therapist’s techniques/put myself in my client’s shoes.

I’ve recently fallen back in love with toast. Oh toast, how could I have forgotten your delicious goodness??

My Spanish goes further down the drain with every passing hour. If I have Hispanic clients at 11 am, I am chattering away like a magpie..at 5 pm I am like “Hola, mi amigos..como estan?” and then smiling nervously, hoping I won’t have to talk.

This Thanksgiving, I am going to take a stand for all of us non pie eaters. We are going to have our just desserts!

I have to stop watching “soldiers returning home” on Youtube. I can’t keep crying every night!

Lori Ann

Occupy Chuck E. Cheese!!

2011-11-02T19:59:00.007-04:00

I try to avoid the news whenever possible. It interferes with the celebrity gossip and reality show watching regime I’m committed to.

However, one cannot escape discussion of the “Occupy Wall street” protests and it’s made me think about things that I’ve always wanted to protest but didn’t have either A. the nerve B. any knowledge or C. the ability to rise above my natural inclination towards apathy.

Anyway- here it is…

Top Five Things/Places/Ideas I would totally Occupy.

5. It’s been about 13 years, but I am still protesting Burger King’s

“new” fries. I mean, come on..What is with the batter coating? It’s gross. And I really resent having to go to BK for my burger and McD’s for my fries. That’s too much to ask of the American people.

4. Indian Summers. Come on, summer…isn’t it enough that you have been sucking the life out of all of us since about mid-April with your scorching heat, endless barbecues, and lame block buster movie releases? Now you’re going to extend into the few weeks we get of fall? Not cool, summer. Not cool. Literally.

3. Showers. No, not the kind where you get clean (I’m only mildly opposed to those), but rather the “baby/wedding/house warming/ etc, etc” variety. I protest the exclusiveness of these events. What if you are, for example, single, childless, and living a tragic hand to mouth existence in a dingy apartment? Don’t you deserve monogrammed hand towels from Sears?? Don’t you?? Answer me!!

2. Tipping. We need to take our cue from Europe on this one. I’ve been an American for 32 glorious years and I still don’t get exactly how tipping works. Do you tip if you pick up your own pizza? What about the mail man? What’s the rate? 15 %? Is that for every restaurant or just fancy ones? If you pay 100 bucks for furniture delivery, doesn’t that mean you don’t have to tip?? Ahhhh!!!! Tipping, you evil troll. What do you torment me like this??

Target weekend shoppers. This group of people embodies the death knell of culture, the American dream, and even human decency as a whole. I went to Target last weekend and the things I saw…well, I won’t say because I know many of you gather around this blog with your children at night and I don’t want to scare them. Just know this..You’re not safe. Not even in the pet food slash broom and mop aisle.

So…there you have it. The groups, things, and ideas I (in my head) spend my days railing against. A complete list would be about 200 items long, but these are the truly the most enraging.

Peace out, girls scouts!!

Lori Ann

The Perks of Being Single

2011-11-01T23:24:00.002-04:00

Let me preface this post by saying that I know what I am missing. Eternal companionship. Camaraderie. The joy of motherhood. Some seriously amazing things. Which is why I console my spinster self with the following...

Bubble baths (bubbles added later or they all fizzzle out) and Harry Potter with sparkling cranberry juice.

Late night noodles and apple cider.

Wait..this isn't a perk. It's the work I've been avoiding. Ohhhh...see, you can avoid work as a spinster. There's no avoiding the children. They'll find you, no matter how hard you hide. The same can't be said for my discharge summaries:)

On an unrelated note, I reread my patriarchal blessing today. I keep it in my Life Ambition Book, which I keep in my desk. I didn't notice this part until after I stated my career. It's helps me feel calm, like I've got the right job.

Lori Ann

It caught on in a flash

2011-10-31T20:02:00.003-04:00

From the mission. Tocando puertas gives you time to plan alot of things..creative picture taking being one.

I've been trying all week to write a poem about fall.

It's been a travesty. Muddled verses about falling leaves and chilly breezes.

I can't find the words to encapsulate the pure heavenly joy that is; for me, everything fall.

Today was a perfect fall day -beautiful, clear, and crisp.

My parents and brother came to visit and we had cheese steaks and went to the Christmas Tree Shoppe.

(which was un-freaking-believable..rivals IKEA for my favorite store ever status!)

And now tonight-

My jack o lantern is on its last legs, but I've got it burning for one last night. My little ceramic haunted house too.

The only thing missing from my being perfectly content with all the world and life is missing seeing one little bat, one giraffe, one dinosaur, and one handsome Harry Potter:)

Lori Ann

All Hallows Eve

2011-10-30T20:30:00.002-04:00

At my house on All Hallows Eve we (well..just me) are all about watching "Disney's Halloween Treat" on Youtube.

And eating our fancy fall meal. Yes, I know it's just chicken and potatoes. But its on a fancy plate and there's sparkly cranberry juice!

And now..on to the third element of my annual Halloween ritual..watching Matt Damon movies!!

Lori Ann

Random Thoughts: Saturday evening edition

2011-10-29T17:48:00.003-04:00

It's snowing! My mom said the last time she remembers it snowing in October was the year I was born. It's weird to see the juxtaposition of the fall leaves and the snow. It creates some serious cognitive dissonance for me.

The view from my window at home is AMAZING. I tried to get pictures, but they turned out really badly. I feel like I am in a really cool snow globe up here on the 4th floor!

I am watching scary movies tonight. YAY! I love to scare myself a little.

Yesterday I had to do 6 diagnostic assessments. 4 of which were in Spanish. Every once in a while I have a moment where I am really kinda impressed with myself. I can listen to someone talk in Spanish, all the while writing the assessment in English, speaking back to them in Spanish, etc. Maybe it's not that impressive to anyone else, but it's one thing I'm proud of.

Anyway, I am rambling now...I'm off to take a bubble bath, make some hot chocolate, light up my jack o lantern, and then scary movie night can begin!!

Lori Ann

And it made me complete

2011-10-26T22:29:00.005-04:00

My FALL FESTIVE night. It all started with..

Chinese Food and Pumpkin Carving!!

(Thanks again, Eri!)

Project Runway...oh Joshua..I love you and I hate you at the same time.

My finished pumpkin! It's supposed to be the night sky. The moon isn't carved all the way through..it has a muted glow compared to the stars, which is really cool in person..doesn't translate as well by picture:/

Lastly, this week's picture of me. I will start putting ones of me doing things, instead of these strange head shots. But seriously, work is failing to entertain me. So I needed to spend 20 minutes taking random pictures of myself. I needed to do it.

Buenas noches amigitas!

Lori Ann

I take my feet off the ground

2011-10-24T22:16:00.003-04:00

It's fall, it's fall, it's fall!!!

Fall is the upswing part of my Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I love everything about it.

I have really strong childhood memories attached to fall.

Apple cider, trick or treating, staying up late watching the Muppets.

Sitting around the kerosene heater, raking leaves, playing outside with cold hands and red cheeks.

Magic.

Anyway,

Since this is my year of uncomfortableness, here is my agenda for the week leading up to Halloween:

1. Write a poem that expresses my love for Autumn (I usually find poetry to be smug and self indulgent..but I am going to get uncomfortable and write a poem!)

2. Attend some kind of Halloween event. Even if it's just a random community thing. I don't do enough stuff like that.

3. Lay in a pile of leaves

4. Make myself a magical fall meal.

That last one doesn't really count. I just put it on the list to make sure it gets done.

Brace yourself for the uncomfortable poetry laden, pile of leaves picture, magical fall meal blog posts to come!!

Lori Ann

In that bright October sun

2011-10-22T21:23:00.002-04:00

I was so glad to see this baby yesterday. Maybe it's because he's been ours the longest, but I miss him the most when I don't see the kids that often.

Did I mention that I live about a mile from Delaware? And while there are many thrilling perks to living next to the First State, I love their lack of sales tax the most!!

I have so much I want to say about last night when Danielle and the kids slept over for the first time. Its a story worth about 10 blog posts. But all you really need to know is the following:

1. We all now have some Communist enemies. For reals.

2. There may or may not be Russians rummaging through my stuff.

3. Erin called my apartment manager pretending to be me.

4. If they didn't know how before, all the kids can walk like ballerinas now.

My parents came to see my apartment today. Well, my dad saw it when he moved me in. All by himself. Yes, my dad is a superhero, thanks for asking:) Anyway, they got me that cute wreath for my door and a pumpkin candle and my dad made my favorite dinner for me, which we all ate sitting in the sun room.

I know they hate it when I say this (because we have a dysfunctional pattern of communication in our family of not talking about feelings) but I really do love my family so much.

Thank you for supporting me in everything I do.

Thank you for knowing how magical I would find it to see a fall wreath on my door.

Thank you for carting four crazy babies over a hundred miles round trip and sleeping on the floor, just to see my new place.

Thank you for defending me, listening to me, threatening to drop people over their own balconies for me, and making me laugh when I want to cry.

What I really want to say is this...

Ваши дети слишком громко.

Lori Ann

It went by like dusk to dawn

2011-10-19T22:04:00.003-04:00

*be warned: this post takes a rambling stream of consciousness format*

I have a tendency to view things from a negative perspective at first.

I'm more of a glass half empty type, I guess.

However, some days it's hard not to be happy and a little optimistic.

I was watching the leaves falling in the rain from my office window today.

It was magical.

It's magical to have a job, an office, a sense of purpose.

Some days I can't believe I get paid to listen to people and help them with their problems.

I keep waiting for my boss to say "Ok, enough with this pretend work..get out there and rake some leaves"

I love my apartment. It's a disaster, I don't have anywhere for things to go right now. I keep trying to brainwash my parents into buying me home accessories from IKEA. But I'm happy because I have a comfortable bed and an amazing bathtub and I can wait for everything else.

I'm hosting a Festivus party.

Me.

I've never ever hosted anything.

It makes me excited for the future.

I think I'm slowly getting a handle on this 'being an adult' thing.

Lori Ann

Every day is an endless dream

2011-10-17T23:18:00.007-04:00

You guys, I've moved!

If you are friends with me on facebook you are most likely well aware of this as I am unable to stop plastering images of my apartment on my wall.

It's nice.

Like, REALLY nice.

I feel very out of place.

For the last 3 years I have lived here:

It was nice.

Ok, it was shady. It was icy in winter, covered in wood panelling, people in the parking lot at all hours, and I believe most of my neighbors were unemployed. (not by misfortune...by choice)

Now I live here:

I live on the fourth floor. It's so quiet. I have vaulted ceilings. I have the world's biggest bathtub. I can't spend money anymore. I got myself some ramon for the next week because holy hannah this place is expensive!!

BUT...

It's only a ten month lease.

Which gives me 10 months to do the following:

1. Write my book

2. Start preparing to buy something

3. Decide if I want to stay with this company long term

4. Take a bubble bath EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Speaking of which..

This tub is calling my name!!

Lori Ann

Random Happenings: The First Edition

2011-10-14T01:47:00.002-04:00

Picture 1: My birthday was last Friday. At some point before I woke up at 7 am, my parents filled my car with balloons!

Picture 2: Erin; who is out visiting from Utah, took me on my first trip to PF Changs. It was a combination birthday slash I found an apartment celebration lunch!

Picture 3: This picture is completely fuzzy and so does not do justice to the AMAZING birthday party Danielle threw for me and Jack-Jack. There was a chocolate fondue pot, people! In the shape of a Hershey kiss. Jack made Carmel filled chocolate cupcakes with individual pumpkin faces, and there...in the middle of the table, was my lovely store bought cake. Thanks Monroes! (especially for your sweet, perfect, and meaningful gifts. I will ALWAYS cherish them)

Picture 4: My crazy Elly is a daisy now. Look out girl scouts! You don't know who you just admitted into your ranks!

Picture 5: Another blurry classic. If you look closely you'll see it's my sister Erin again...not 2 minutes in the door from the airport, crawling around with the cats. Some things never change:)

My entire next post will be dedicated to the kick ass apartment I found. It's right on the Pennsylvania/ Delaware border. Which means I will be doing all my TAX FREE shopping right over the state line.

It also has a ginormous bathtub, people.

It's a little teeny tiny more than I wanted to pay (it is literally 3 times the cost of my last apartment) but it is going to be worth it... wait until you see the pictures!!

Lori Ann

While you're far away and dreaming

2011-10-08T22:19:00.003-04:00

Yeah..so, I stole this picture directly from Danielle's blog.

It's Jack-Jack's 9th birthday today.

I love the 9 year old Jack so much.

But I miss the little Jack of 5-6.

The Jack Jack Attack of 2-3

and especially the

Baby Jack

of just a few months.

October 8th, 2002 will always be a very important day for me to remember.

It was the day I took on the most important role of my life so far.

The role of Aunt.

It's like Mom, but without the discipline and eating your veggies crap:)

Don't ever change from the sweet, sensitive, artistic, enthusiastic, brilliant person that you are Jack Jack. I love you.

Love,

Aunt Lori

Uncomfortable

2011-10-07T22:02:00.006-04:00

Usually on my birthday, I post my list of goals for the year.

I am lucky if I accomplish even 2 of them.

This year I wanted something different.

I don't want to make a lot of empty resolutions that fade from my mind a day or two after I post them.

This year I am making only one resolution.

To be uncomfortable.

As a therapist I challenge my clients on a daily basis to try something new, to change old habits, to be uncomfortable.

I promise them that positive change can and will come from it and their lives will be better for it.

But I don't take my own advice for the most part.

Entonces

(the only word that comes to my mind first in Spanish..it means "therefore")

All hail the year of UNCOMFORTABLENESS.

On that note, one thing that makes me uncomfortable is putting my own picture on this blog. I am never happy with how I look. So, in tribute to my resolution to be uncomfortable, I will start appearing at least once a week in my blog pictures..starting today:)

I like this one. I look like a prison warden. But why the hell are my glasses always kinda bent?

Lori Ann

The Last 31

2011-10-06T23:42:00.003-04:00

I'll only be 31 for another 14 minutes.

It's been an epic year.

I got my clinical licensure. The culmination of 8 years of study and practice.

I moved back home to PA.

I got basically my dream job in my dream location.

Paid off my car.

Got into two accidents.

Diagnosed literally hundreds of people with mental health disorders.

Fell in love and got my heart broken all in the same day. (Oh, Henry. I still miss you.)

Got my first real Christmas tree.

Got an iPhone.

(Thanks for making it possible for me to watch Youtube while stuck in traffic, Steve Jobs. RIP)

I got a Coach bag.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes.

I chopped off my hair.

I bought a cricut and it changed the way I craft.

I (kinda) learned how to sew.

I (kinda) learned how to bake bread.

I gave Peachy away.

I made and lost anonymous internet friends.

I officially defriended over 200 people.

I saw the last Harry Potter movie and cried on the way home from the theater.

It's exactly midnight. Happy Birthday to me.

Lori Ann

Yeah, baby!!

2011-10-02T23:40:00.002-04:00

You guys..I am so on track to becoming the next Martha Stewart. Behold my newest creation..Pumpkin Soup in a Pumpkin!!

Step 1: Obtain the Pumpkin!

Step 2: Add the following ingredients!

Step 3: Bake!

Step 4: Remove from oven and scrape pumpkin off inside and stir into soup

Step 5: Enjoy your Soup in A Pumpkin!!

Let me tell you, it was as festive as it sounds to eat the soup directly from the pumpkin. My dad ate like 3 bowls. It was epic!!

Lori Ann

When she stands under my colors

2011-09-30T00:18:00.003-04:00

Oh man, I had the most epic breakfast party this morning with my nieces and nephews.

James grabbed Danielle's McDonald's hot chocolate and declared "Here's my coffee!" and then came to sit with Danielle and I to gossip and talk about why men can't commit. (According to James its because they get bored). We also asked James about women and he told us about Lindsey, who he was in love with, and wants to marry. They met last year in first grade, but now are in different classes.

Katy displayed her "Elaine from Seinfeld" dance moves.

Jack Jack showed me his Angry Birds tshirt. He looked so handsome it almost brought tears to my eyes. Where is my (ok, ok..Danielle's) baby?? He's going to be 9 next week. NINE, people!

And last, but never least, Elly...

Elly drew me a picture for my office. Her 'bestest' picture ever, according to her. Its of a girl standing on top of a burning house, throwing things over the edge. I told her it was beautiful and violent:)

This Saturday night we are officially kicking off the fall with our Rocktober Party! Get your bail money ready, people..it promises to be a wild night!!

L.Ann

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down

2011-09-28T23:57:00.007-04:00

Moody self portrait number 2!

Random Thoughts: The Modern Family Night Edition

1. This commute- now almost 2 months of driving 60 miles each way- is killing me. And the apartment that I wanted..my dad inspected it and gave it the kibosh. Back to the drawing board.

2. I do not miss the South. I still have nightmares about those endless summers! They started in March and ended in November! However, I do miss the small agency I worked for. I work at a big company now and I swear, every day I see someone new. My chances of winning any kind of award at the Christmas Party are slim to none. :|

3. I am only kinda feeling Glee this season. I think it's lost its magic for me. Which means I am shopping for a new show to obsess over.

4. Is it weird to leave fruit snacks on some one's car semi anonymously?

It was NOT Henry's car again. I swear, I've stopped stalking him. So don't ask how I found these photos online. Do.not.ask.

5. My schedule is later now that I am in Out Patient Therapy, so I listen to Delilah every night on my drive home. Delilah is like crack to me.

6. I'm having a breakfast party with my favorite people tomorrow. You're invited. Be in Q-town by 8 am and there may be a jelly donut with your name on it!!

L.Ann

Facebook Debating: Pointless or Completely Pointless?

2011-09-26T23:07:00.013-04:00

Ok, so I usually avoid anything I see on facebook that I consider controversial. You're not going to change my mind on facebook with just the right pithy comment, and I know for dang sure I'm not going to change your mind. However, this status update from my friend Laura made me semi angry and so I posted this long, rambling comment. Tell me the truth..was it worth it or should have just skipped on over it?

THE STATUS UPDATE:

Laura said: Jon Schneider is amazing: "Today, while purchasing some awesome DC action figures, a grandmother and a young boy come up behind me at the register. The boy is holding one of those Monster High dolls. Upon seeing what I have, the woman says "Now why can't you get something like that?" and says a few more things ending with something along the lines of "I'm starting to worry about you." I turn to her and say, "Worry? About what? That a Monster High doll is going to turn the kid gay or something? These action figure are for me, and I'm gay. It doesn't matter what you play with, let the kid be a kid." I then gave the kid a high five and walked out of the store."

MY REPLY

Lori said: I'm all for taking a stand and this grandmom shouldn't have brought what your friend was buying into her discussion but it honestly drives me crazy when I take my nieces and nephews out in public. People are way too free with their advice- parenting and otherwise. I was out with my nephew once and I wouldn't let him get something which I know his mom (my sister) didn't want him to have (not age appropriate or too violent or something) and some lady was like " Some of us should remember what it's like to be a child and not stop our kids from having experiences, etc etc". She didn't know him or me or our situation. And to assume that she knew what was best for the child that I've known since the day he was born? This kid who I love more than anything in this world, whose name she doesn't even know. Not so amazing.

What do you think???

L.Ann

Stopping by West Mill St. on a Not So Snowy Night..

2011-09-25T21:50:00.005-04:00

me...looking reflective...about two years ago...because I couldn't get the picture I wanted today...

Welcome to L.Ann Week on The Spinster Chronicles!!

The week of moody self portraits and excessive introspection.

Let's do this thing!

I want to tell you about 4 days that changed my life. The first was the day following my 23rd birthday.

It was the day my first nephew; my Jack Jack Attack, was born.

October 8th was the first day.

Then came the exciting and yet terrifying birth of our turkey baby, James, on the day after Thanksgiving- black Friday.

November 28th was the second day.

On a cold February day, the week before Valentines, on the five year anniversary of the day I entered the MTC, the jumping bean, Elly, arrived.

February 7th was the third day.

And then came the last. The first spring baby our family has ever known. Our Katy Kat.Kat Rat. Rat Rat. Ratty.

April 29th was the fourth day.

Most of the days of our lives rush by, forgotten as soon as they are lived. Or remembered only in flashes of family gatherings, milestones, and faded memories. A blur of weddings, Christmases, baptisms,graduations, and a million other happy occasions.

Of all the occasions, of all the memories I cherish, only four days do I remember with pure, simple joy.

The days that brought me my JJEK. My wonderwall.

I should have come over and played today. I love you, babies!

L. Ann

Send me away with the words of a love song

2011-09-24T20:58:00.006-04:00

Even though yesterday was the autumnal equinox, Danielle failed in her attempt to get an egg to stand on end. I TOLD her that it wouldn't stand up but she wouldn't listen to me. Silly girl.

Elly wants me to send this to Robert Pattison with a note that reads "Your future much younger trophy wife". I told her that she needs to slow down on the Twilight and besides, in our family, we are Team Jacob.

I got into a discussion with my dad on the way home from the airport the other night. Somehow the topic turned to gigolos. One day, when I am in the general presidency of either RS or Primary, I am going to reference this discussion in one of my General Conference talks. "When I was a girl, I cherished the discussions I had with my father. We discussed the gospel, politics, life, gigolos, and car maintenance.."

This is my new office. I completely plan to replace some of these chairs with a velvet therapist's couch. And a large poster of Freud. And some some twinkle lights. And a mini fridge.

This is my (cross your fingers!) new apartment! The living room and bedroom both have fireplaces!! It's only four miles from my office. It's 54.4 miles away from my parents. Not that I have any wild plans for anything... on a completely unrelated note, how heavy is a keg and what is everyone doing next weekend??

Anyway, I just wanted to end by letting you know that I; Lori Ann, will not be writing this blog next week. I am having a guest blogger...you can call her , LANN. or L.ANN. Whatever.

It's the more philosophical, self portrait taking version of me. Brace yourselves!

Lori Ann

The one you'll know by

2011-09-23T08:58:00.006-04:00

Dumpster diving

is the practice of sifting through commercial or residential trash to find items that have been discarded by their owners, but that may be useful to the dumpster diver.

I don't know what you do with your mothers. Maybe manicures. A girls night out. Anything, you know, legal.

My mom and I dumpster dive. Well, she dumpster dives while I sit in the car, being the look out.

I keep trying to tell her that I wouldn't make it in prison. Or even through a night in "the tank". My dad always calls it that. I have no idea why it's called that. But he does.

Have you ever looked at your parents and thought

" dear heaven, who are these people?"

Anyway, if I end up in the big house, send me brownies. And trashy novels. And a Ryan Gosling poster. And gummi bears.

Lori Ann

There's something they're not telling us...

2011-09-21T22:43:00.005-04:00

I only seem capable of writing in the 'Random Thoughts " format these days. I promise cohesive themed blog entries soon!!

Fall is here. IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot find an apartment that I like. I've seen several and every single time I am disappointed. Come on..it can't be that hard to have a 1000 square feet, hard wood floors, vaulted ceilings, a garden tub, stainless steel appliances, washer/dryer, porch, utilities included type apartment for about $350 a month, right??

ha ha.

But seriously, I paid $350 for my apartment in North Carolina. My sisters claimed my apartment was "scary". Yeah, it was scary awesome how I could pay my rent months and months in advance!

So, even though I know its reasonable to charge $1000 a month in a nice area of Chester County, PA I can't stop thinking about how that much rent is going to cut into my "party like a rockstar" lifestyle.

Those $3 on clearance colorful walmart work shoes (featured on my blog last month) aren't' going to buy themselves!

Mark Allen MacPhail- Officer killed in Davis Case

I don't have an opinion on the Troy Davis case (as I am not super educated on it) but oh my gosh, imagine waiting four hours, not sure if you are going to die or not. I would rather just get it over with ya.

Bridesmaids is out on video!! If you like The Hangover and are ok with that level of questionable humor, then you will LOVE Bridesmaids. I saw it with my sister Erin and I have never heard a theater of people laugh that much. We all staggered out the door, laughing and shrieking "I loved it!".

Lori Ann

Random Thoughts: The Angry Edition

2011-09-20T22:51:00.003-04:00

I felt so angry all day today.

Everyone and everything is getting on my nerves.

I am sure that most of you; like me, are polite and reasonable people, who wait your turn, think before you act, weigh the pros and cons, put yourself in someone else's shoes and all that of that crap. It's a really mentally healthy place to be. Most of the time I am happy to be there.

Some days though; like today, I wish I could just scream. Just scream and be crazy like those people we all know. Yelling at others drivers, random cashiers, and family members.

On a slightly less insane note, Glee started tonight.

The jury is still out on this season though. I'm giving it 3 episodes to impress me.

I tried to get our interns (who are working on their doctorates in things like neuro psychology) to make a pact to watch Glee all season with me.

I think that when they said "No, that show is for kids" what they really meant was "Wow, Lori. Yes, I commit to watching it and my respect for you has just increased 10 fold". So yeah...

Lori Ann